


Holograms

by crypticpanda



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dib is an idiot, Friendship, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, Swearing, ZADF, Zim is an idiot, headcanon heavy, implied mental health issues, no beta we die like men, so I just write without a set timeline in mind, so much swearing, that just means I have no idea where to go with this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-13 12:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21494110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crypticpanda/pseuds/crypticpanda
Summary: Zim is a fugitive from the Irken Empire and has been hiding out on planet Earth for the past six years. His best fri-... reluctant ally Dib knows nothing of his true identity and as long as Zim can help it, it's going to stay that way.Dib's fascination for everything supernatural isn't helping.
Relationships: Zim & Dib
Comments: 71
Kudos: 255





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this tumblr post I made a while back:  
https://crypticpanda010.tumblr.com/post/188548494118

It had been 28 hours.

Zim groaned.

28 long hours since he had last been able to just lay down, power down the holographic disguise, connect himself to a recharging station, and clock out. Instead of being able to do that, Dib had been dragging him around the woods for ages now, tirelessly, even after he and Zim had pulled an all nighter trying to figure out the best places to hike and explore. ‘Bigfoot won’t hunt himself,’ Dib had said, ‘Cheer up, it’s gonna be fun.’ Even though Zim was physically unable to sweat, the hoodie he was wearing was beginning to feel soggy and disgusting in the humid heat of Earthen summer. Carefully he jumped over the rocks and the gnarly roots of the trees around him. Dib was walking a few feet in front of him, a camera in his right hand and his left clutching onto the backpack as he cheerfully passed over the obstacles in his way.

“You really think you’re gonna find big feet today, Dib-worm?”

“It’s Bigfoot, and I think you're doing this on purpose. Either you have never actually listened to a single thing I said during the entire time we've known each other, or you're fucking with me, and I honestly can't tell what's the more likely option,” Dib groaned, shoving aside a branch that hung in his path. “You’re a bad student, you know that?”

“Zim is a perfectly normal student, thank you,” Zim sneered.

Dib just shot an amused frown over his shoulder.

“You’re so weird.”

“I’M PERFECTLY NORMAL.”

They didn’t find Bigfoot that day. They did find a very nice spot to put up Dib’s telescope though, so they ended up stargazing once night began to crawl up on them.

“I wish I could go up there one day,” Dib mumbled after a bit. “See what’s out there, y’know.”

Zim just turned to look at the human. Dib's eyes were focused on the sky above, searching for something that was already lying next to him. Zim huffed. Foolish human. He had known Zim for six years now and never once had he ever bothered to look past the walls, or rather, holographic disguises Zim had been putting up around himself. Always too busy looking for the hidden, unattainable things that lurk in the shadows and beyond the horizon. Sometimes Zim just wanted to hit the kid over his head with his Irken tech, just to get it over with. If he had any left that was just the right size for hitting someone over that head, that was.

“You won’t find anything that exciting.”

Zim paused for a second before adding “Probably” to his statement.

“Hmm, you think so?” Dib hummed, still just looking up and nowhere near Zim’s face. “Space is pretty much infinite, right? There’s gotta be something, some world out there, with, I don’t know, intelligent species, like us humans. Animals. Plants.”

Zim snickered at Dib calling humanity intelligent. There was still so much they had to learn. They haven’t even colonized any other planets yet, despite all the viable options in their vicinity.

“But y’know,” Dib started again. “I don’t wanna just find the planets that have life similar to Earth. I wanna find all the places still unexplored. Places that have never even been set foot on. I just wanna see it all. Everything. Infitity.”

Dib sighed.

“If there is something out there at all. Who knows? Maybe we really are just the only ones in the entire universe.”

The human’s eyes finally landed on Zim.

“But if there is, you’re coming with me buddy. I’m gonna prove it to you. And then to everyone else.”

Zim blinked.

He remembered his home. Irk, with its red sky and constructions made of metal, deep underground tunnels and facilities. All the planets it has conquered and colonized. Destroyed and blown apart. Soldiers stationed on every outpost; invaders ready to enslave the entire population of their assigned planets. A universe on the brink of destruction. Zim’s insides turned.

“There’s nothing you’d want to see, Dib.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Zim shrugged.

Dib watched him for a few more seconds before turning his eyes back to the sky.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the tags, just in case  
Fair warning: This story is gonna get ooc real quick as this is an AU setting which heavily diverges from canon. It's also possible that there's still gonna be canon typical violence in later chapters where I might have to up the rating, so if that's not something you enjoy, this is just an early warning.  
Updates will be slow as I still don't quite know what to do with this, but I'm not gonna abandon it anytime soon!  
Anyway. Let's commence this exposition chapter.

Dib didn’t quite know what to make of Zim. He was a weird guy for sure, that wasn’t up for debate. He had known the other kid for six years and he still couldn’t figure out what his deal was. One day he just showed up in his elementary school and that was the begin of a _very_ reluctant friendship. They were both the token weirdos, so of course they would always end up together for partner projects, always on the bench during P.E., and considering they were basically neighbours, their way home was exactly the same. Dib didn’t miss the days where they used to walk on different sides of the road just to avoid each other as they either stubbornly ignored each other or exchanged glares, thinking that the other was following them home. Time passed and their shared experiences made them inseparable. That, or the fact that one day Zim just said “You have a funny head” and decided to follow Dib around nonstop from that point onward. As soon as projects were announced, their eyes met, P.E. wasn't as much of a torture anymore, and the way home was less depressing when there was someone else walking with you. So on the one hand, Dib lost every single opportunity to expose the supernatural to the world, as Zim always managed to scare off any weird encounter they ever had before Dib was able to get physical proof, only to disregard anything and everything they’ve seen as ‘stupid’ before dragging Dib back home, on the other hand, Dib had finally gained a friend.

Dib never had any friends. He knew he was intense, always came on too strong when his interests were in question and he was an awkward weirdo at best. He never knew whether to feel glad about the fact that no one wanted to get close to him, or just really fucking sad. On most days he kept switching from one to the other multiple times before passing out in front of his PC while ranting in the comment section of random videos of questionable ghost sightings. But after Zim had entered his life and become a constant fixture, Dib didn’t really mind it as much as he used to. He had someone by his side that wouldn’t run away, the moment he began to ramble about cryptids, Zim might make fun of him and bitch about having to come along Dib’s hunts for the unknown, but Dib knew it was all in good fun. He learned that that’s just who Zim was, an eternally pissed off guy with anger issues who was just trying to play tough. Dib wasn’t the only one with issues after all, that’s not something that needed to be said out loud. One could assume a lot of things about him but saying that he wasn’t self-aware was just plain wrong. Maybe a bit too self-aware. He and Zim balanced themselves out in that regard. He had a bit too much, whereas Zim didn’t have enough.

The boy, Dib assumed, didn’t know how openly weird he actually was. The second someone pointed something out about him, he went into full denial mode. Whether it was about his height, his unnaturally long limbs, his always present pink hoodie, the fact that he never let anyone touch him, not even Dib, his paranoia or before mentioned anger issues, it always ended with Zim yelling in his cracking, shrill voice as he threw the next best thing at whoever dared to question his "normality". Not exactly a good argument, if someone asked Dib, but oh well, who was he to judge. Every time someone insulted him, he just replied with a deadpan “Yeah” or “I know”, and that wasn’t exactly the best coping mechanism either.

On bad days they both usually hide out at Zim’s place. The small house was empty all the time anyway, no chances of running into Gaz or his Dad here (although chances of running into his Dad were already minimal to non-existent back home), so they made it into their base. After all, Zim’s parents were out all the time anyway, according to him. Dib didn’t exactly knew how to comment on that considering his own parental figure wasn’t exactly about to earn the dad of the year award, but he’d at least see him once a week, unlike his friend, who seemed to live all on his own. The only thing that seemed of sentimental value in the house seemed to be the tiny robot sitting on the sofa. Zim would greet the tin creature with a flick to its floppy antenna and a “You’re worthless, Gir” every time they entered the house. He would look at it a few seconds, as if he was waiting for it to respond in some way or form, then he’d shrug and move along. It was a ritual Dib had gotten used to over time, and at this point, it had become kind of endearing. In a really weird, Zim, way.

His own room already plastered full with posters and pin boards, photographs and screenshots, Dib had decided to move his stuff over to Zim's years ago, considering the place was as empty as a bitch. Yeet. 

Many long sleepless nights have been spent there, sharing stories and planning hunts. Zim never once complained.

* * *

“There’s nothing you’d want to see, Dib.”

Dib watched as his friend’s eyes glazed over. Even though they were looking at him, Zim wasn’t seeing him. At that moment, the boy felt as if his friend was somewhere entirely else. Somewhere far away.

“How can you be so sure?” Dib asked quietly.

Zim’s shrug didn’t answer any of his questions.

At times he could be a real enigma.

The frown on Dib’s face deepened. He wanted to ask Zim all these questions, questions that have been floating around in his mind since he first got to know the guy, questions Dib didn’t want to ask out loud, in fear of crossing some sort of invisible line and ruining everything they ever had.

Zim was a weird guy, there was no question about that.

The darkness that had seeped onto his face was part of something much bigger, that much Dib understood. And he couldn’t help but feel the unease crawl around his throat, making it hard to breath. So many conflicting emotions. Worry for his friend, anger at him for not confiding in him, fear of doing something that can’t be undone, and the ever-looming worry and anxiety that seemed to fester around him wherever he went. 

Dib shook his head and looked back up into the sky, cursing his own sentience.

There he went again, losing control of his thoughts as they began to run in every direction. What was he doing? The boy groaned and pressed his fists into his eyes until he could see the stars even through the darkness of his own hands. Was his wish really that ridiculous and stupid as everyone thought it was? To find things no one has discovered before? Was it really that idiotic? Wanting to believe in something that wasn’t explainable? Something so out of reach, most people wouldn’t even waste a second thought about it?

How can Zim say there was nothing Dib would want to see?

Dib wanted to see everything.

He didn’t care if there was nothing to find after all. He’d just have to keep going and search harder. He wouldn't just stop at the first signs of failure. He never had. 

He wanted to have a purpose. And if his purpose was to keep reaching for the unreachable, so be it. It was better than spending the rest of his life in this rotting hellhole.

<strike>Deep inside he knew those were childish dreams. Escapism. He was scared. Scared of what would await him if he didn't find anything after all.</strike>

There must be something other than the world he knew. The world that everyone was trying to convince him was the only thing that mattered. Dib didn’t want to accept it. It might be egoistical, self-centered and cold, but he knew he had to see for himself.

They all can say what they want. Zim can keep spouting his nonsense too. 

He’ll prove it to them.

<strike>If there was anything to prove at all.</strike>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much projecting. Talk about healthy coping mechanismns.
> 
> This chapter was just me trying to figure out where I wanna go with this, so I'm sorry if it's bad.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Graphic violence
> 
> Pls note the updated tags and archive warning

Everyone cowered on the ground below their desks, trembling in fear as the two creatures made their way into the middle of the room. Dib couldn’t move. This was it. This should have been his moment. There they here. Proof of the supernatural standing right amidst them at this very moment. If only he could stand up. If only his stupid wobbly knees would stop feeling like jello, so he could face the very thing he lived for.

The two creatures looked peculiar. Green skin, almost see-through, pink veins visible underneath the thin layer that was their face. Not a single blemish or hair visible, except for two black, antenna like protrusions on the back of their head, twitching in what Dib assumed would be irritation. Their blood red eyes glistened in the bright, cold light of the winter sun.

He was as much in awe as he was terrified.

Sharp clicking sounds left the one creature’s mouth as both of them cocked their weapons, presumably guns, aiming at the opposite side of the room.

Everyone flinched, scared of what was to come, but none of them were even given a single glance by the creatures. There was only one person in the room that had their full attention.

Zim was backed up against the wall, and for the first time in ever, there was nothing but pure and unfiltered fear written on his face.

The taller of the two creatures towered over him and shoved the muzzle of his gun into Zim’s chest, before spitting out garbled words in a strange and alien language which was nothing but hisses, clicking and noises that sounded like it was choking.

Dib could only watch as a trembling smile forced its way onto Zim’s face as he spoke.

“I can’t understand fuck all you’re saying.”

He let out a yelp and toppled over as the creature rammed its weapon into his stomach. Dib wanted to jump up and help his friend, but he was still frozen on the ground, unable to do anything but watch.

The creatures began cackling as Zim cowered in front of them. He was clutching his midriff and groaned in pain. His knees were shaking as he slowly pulled himself up again.

From underneath his hiding space, Dib could see the green skinned beings looking at each other before one of them reached out to grab Zim by the top of his head. Zim grimaced and reached for his assailants’ arm with his own hands, trying to get rid of them, but their grasp was relentless, even with his fingernails digging into their armour.

The creature let out an ear-splitting noise, like stones grinding against each other. It was as if it was trying to change its own voices pitch. And then…

“Former Invader Zim, you are late for your deactivation,” the creature sneered with a crooked smile as his hold onto the smaller being tightened.

“Not only are you a defective and a traitor to the Irken Empire, you escaped your fair punishment and decided to waste everyone’s time!”

The creature’s expression turned sour and his voice agitated. As it yelled, its spit landed on Zim’s face, who was still holding onto the arm, trying to relieve some of the pressure on his skull.

“You don’t deserve anything but the worst. And believe me, that’s exactly what the Tallest have planned for you.”

The other one laughed sadistically as the taller one shoved Zim back, making his head hit the concrete wall behind him.

Why was no one helping him?

Why were they all just sitting there, cowering in fear as their classmate slowly sank to the floor, the back of his head bloody and his face contorted in fear and pain? Dib’s entire body was shaking. He couldn’t think clearly. His brain was a mess and he couldn’t move. Why wasn’t he-

“I still have no idea what you’re talking about,” Zim grunted, a mocking smile forcing its way onto his face.

‘What are you doing, you idiot?’ Dib wanted to scream. ‘Why are you agitating them even more?’

The two creatures scoffed.

“Defectives,” the smaller one hissed before ramming his weapon into Zim again, this time releasing an electric charge right into his chest.

Finally, Dib was able to jump up. Without thinking, he threw himself over the desk, about to jump in between the two creatures and his friend.

But he stopped.

His hand tightly grasped around the edge of the desk he just jumped.

Zim’s body was slumped on the ground, twitching and convulsing as the smell of scorched flesh began to permeate the room.

A black wig was laying besides Zim’s head.

Right were Dib’s friend lay, the air around him seemed to glitch in and out of perspective.

Or rather, the thing that used to be Dib’s friend.

In his place was a creature not unsimilar to the two standing above him. Green skin, bald with long black antennas twitching atop his head. The eyes shot open. They were a glowing magenta, rapidly scanning their surroundings in panic before scrunching up in anger. He/It/Whatever that was began to slowly rise up from the ground, staggering and limbs still twitching.

It was still wearing Zim’s pink hoodie.

Not-Zim spat at the two creatures in front of him, probably not realizing how his appearance was still flickering and distorting all around him, switching back and forth from the pale pink and the almost transparent green.

“What the fuck!” Not-Zim screeched, his entire body trembling.

The two creatures just looked at each other with a smile and then pointed at the wig lying on the ground. Confusion written on his face, Not-Zim followed their line of sight.

He froze.

Slowly he rose his arms and looked at them. His eyes widened at the sight of his hands. Three fingers with curved claws on every tip. Purple veins faintly pulsing beneath the green skin.

Not-Zim’s alien eyes met Dib’s.

“I don’t know what they’re talking about,” Not-Zim whispered.

For a short moment, his human appearance flickered back into being one last time, only to completely disappear into thin air. Instead of his friend, Dib only saw a deformed creature, an alien. It might have been wearing his friend’s clothes, but that wasn’t him. It couldn’t have been him. It just wasn’t. Could it?

Dib slowly backed up, crawling back over the desk again. He could feel his own breath getting erratic and irregular. This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. He was supposed to be the hero of this story, not the scared, cowardly kid hiding underneath a table. He jerked as the tallest creatures hit Not-Zim across the head with its weapon, effectively knocking him out after all, once he was distracted.

It snorted.

“I’ve been waiting ages to finally do this!”

“I want to take him apart right now,” the other one hissed, only to be punched in the face by the taller one.

“That honour belongs to our Tallest, you imbecile!”

The creature winced and cradled its cheek but nodded with a pout.

“What are we going to do with these Earthians?”

The two glanced at the group of cowering children.

“Just let them rot. Their planet is doomed for destruction after all.”

With that the taller one grabbed Not-Zim, heaved him over its shoulder and began to move back towards the hole in the wall they came in through.

Dib couldn’t do anything but watch. Nothing made sense.

As the creatures turned their back towards him, Dib began to realize quite a few things.

Zim’s aversion to touch.

The absence of a family.

The absence of any history at all before moving to Detroit.

All these smalls things which Dib never thought about too much, all of Zim’s ticks he never questioned even once.

He also noticed he was staring right into Zim’s magenta eyes. He was conscious. His friend was looking right at him as he was being carried away, to god knows where, and he would be gone forever if Dib didn’t do anything. Zim just stared at him. He didn’t even try to escape his captor’s hold. He just lifelessly hung from the creature’s shoulder like a corpse, his empty eyes being the only sign that he was still there. Still within Dib’s grasp.

So Dib did what any sensible person would do.

“Hey assholes!” he shouted, throwing the next best object at the green bastards.

As expected it didn’t do much harm, and Dib immediately ducked down, not sure if he was already regretting his decision or not.

Time seemed to slow down as the creature slowly turned around, his face distorted in annoyance at the pencil case that had hit its head at best.

Then there was surprise.

Then nothing.

What seemed like a spear had lodged itself into its chest, the end of it reaching out of its back by at least 2 foot. Dib watched as the pink blood began to pool in the hole left by what looked like a mechanical spider leg. Zim’s pink Hoodie had been ripped apart on the backside, four of the metal limbs stretching out above his small figure, almost like wings. As the other creature slowly began to realized what had happened a blood curdling scream made its way out of its throat and the being threw itself at Zim, who was only just pulling himself up again with the help of the spider legs, his eyes still fixed on Dib. He just turned around in time to block the creature’s weapon, avoiding getting shocked a second time by only an inch. Zim’s legs were shaking and he was in no shape to fight. Still he began to throw hands with the creature, like he did with all the school bullies throughout all their elementary, middle and high school years. No mercy, unrelenting blows and a feral look on his face.

But this was no fight against acne covered school bullies talking shit about them. Soon enough Zim’s opponent deployed his own weapons from the machine on his back, two deadly blades now swinging alongside the weapon in the creature’s hands.

Zim’s blood hit the ground.

The bright pink was a stark contrast against the dusty grey of the crumbling floor. His claws were tightly wrapped around the blade stuck in his side, desperately holding on, despite it cutting into his hands, trying to stop it from digging even deeper.

The creature toppling over him laughed out loudly.

“There’s no escaping the Empire, defective!”

Zim stilled and let go of the blade. He didn’t even seem to register it as it drove even further into his flesh as he rose his arms to shove his claws into the creature’s blood red eyes.

“Watch me,” he sneered, completely ignoring the way the creature began to cry and lash out with its arms. “I will destroy every last one of you. Keep coming after me and it’ll be Operation Impending Doom all over again.”

With a growl, Zim pushed the larger body off him, thumbs still stuck in the eyeholes.

For a moment he stilled.

Then a hysterical laugh escaped his throat.

The sharp ends of his mechanical legs scraped over the ground before lifting themselves up into the air and driving down into the still convulsing body of the creature. Over and over again.

“You wanted to find the Empire’s most wanted? Well you found me!” he snickered delightedly before leaning down close to whisper into the dead, hacked up face.

“I am Zim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm too tired to proof read this mess.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sike.

“I am Zim.”

Dib barely paid attention to what was going on in the front of class. He watched the snow rain down outside, wishing to be anywhere but stuck inside the smelly room. He had tuned out as soon as Mrs. Bitters said something about a new student or something. Dib didn’t particularly care. It was just another day and he couldn’t wait for the second he would be able to get out of here again.

The obnoxious sound of a chair scratching across the floor right next to him made Dib cringe and turn towards the offending object. On the desk to his right, a stranger sat down and innocently folded his arms in his lap. Dib frowned at the new kid and the new kid frowned at him. What did he do to deserve this? This was the front row, why would that weirdo sit in the front instead if choosing one of the empty seats further in the back? Who does that?

New kid apparently.

Dib went back to daydreaming, while only occasionally shooting glances at Sim. Sam? Zayn? Zzz...zomething? His name didn't matter, Dib was pretty sure that even if he knew it, he would forget it soon enough. He still couldn’t remember most of his classmates names, no matter how many years had passed.

Z had pale, ashy skin, not pale enough to be a vampire, but definitely enough to look like he was about to be sick, an awkward looking nose, which kinda looked out of place on his face, a tuft of black hair on top of his head, which kinda reminded Dib of Elvis, which was weird, but who was he to judge, he had hair that looked like a scythe. The thing that stood out the most though, was the obnoxiously pink hoodie. The color almost blinded Dib, and he was sure that if he only stared long enough he'd contract some sort of disease. Not only that, but it was way too large for the kid's small and lanky frame. The cloth pooled around the boy, and if Dib guessed correctly, it must almost reach down to the boy's knees when standing.

All in all, the kid was pretty much...

Unremarkable.

Dib had seen weirder people around.

Maybe he was almost too unremarkable. Z whatever his name was shrunk down into his chair in discomfort, trying to escape Dib's scrutiny, obviously having noticed the wordless interrogation Dib was leading.

In the end Dib just shrugged and turned back to look out the window.

Watching the sky felt like a much better use of his time.

Maybe he might even see a UFO eventually.

Over the following weeks Dib didn’t really see much of the new kid. He was pretty much silent, didn’t really draw a lot of attention to him (except for blinding everyone in the room when arriving in the morning) and the others have just accepted him as part of the daily scenery by now.

Life went on as normal.

Except when two weeks later the new kid slam dunked an 8th grader twice his size, who insulted his choice of fashion, into a locker. Dib couldn’t help but eventually memorize his name, as it was the one thing everyone kept whispering about.

New kid’s name was Zim.

Zim, apparently a foreigner who recently moved here from another country, so some students tell, had obvious issues. His silent and modest demeanour from when he first arrived slowly deteriorated and turned into outbursts of anger fits, copious amounts of cursing, and what seemed like a narcissistic streak. Dib never actually witnessed any of this. New kid never participated in class, less alone paid any attention. He just kept furiously scribbling in his notepad and as soon as the bell rang, he was out of the room. Needless to say, people started avoiding him. Considering he didn’t really seek any contact with anyone, that wasn’t really a difficult thing to do. But the moment Ms. Bitters announced this year’s group project, Dib knew he was fucked. With a defeated sigh he closed his eyes, not wanting to watch everyone pair up with their friends and neighbours. He knew what was about to come.

“Dib.”

Dib grimaced and looked up at the looming figure of Ms. Bitters.

“Do you want to spend the rest of your short, human life as a blood sucking parasite, living off the pain and suffering and hard work of others, and eventually end up all alone like the measly cockroach you are and meet your end without having achieved anything of worth as your body slowly rots away and there’s nothing you can do about it?”

“What?”

“THEN GET TO WORK!”

Dib stared after Ms. Bitters as she continued on her way handing out the work sheets. He ignored the chill going down his spine and reluctantly glanced over at the only other student without a partner.

Zim was still engrossed in whatever he was doing, not looking up from whatever he was writing. Even after Dib cleared his throat and scooted his chair and desk over to him, the new kid didn’t react. Annoyed, Dib tried to steal a glance at what Zim was working on. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to decipher the weird symbols covering multiple sheets spread out over the desk.

“What’s that?”

Zim jumped and bunched up all the sheets to hide them underneath his arms, before turning to scowl at Dib.

“That’s none of your business!” he hissed.

“Is that some kinda secret code you’re working on? That’s pretty neat dude.”

Dib grabbed one of the papers, but he was barely even able to take a good look at it, as Zim immediately tore it out of his hands again.

“YES! It’s secret. So keep your disgusting claws to yourself and leave me alone.”

The pages rustled as Zim messily shoved them together and pushed them into his bag underneath his desk. He began to anxiously tap his foot when he realized that all other students had huddled together in small groups of two to four people.

“What is this weird ritual they’re doing?” he reluctantly asked Dib, who was still just awkwardly sitting there.

“Group project,” Dib sighed. “I hate this just as much as you do, so let’s just get it over with.”

After that, they mostly worked in silence, barely exchanging any words. None of them said it out loud, but they worked well together. Dib had been sure he’d be the one to do all of the actual work, as usual, but the new kid surprised him when he actually diligently worked on all the tasks Dib had previously assigned to him. Sure, it was with a sneer and the occasional insult directed at the other kid, but he actually finished his work and he didn’t even half ass it. Still, as soon as the bell rang, Zim was gone, and he left Dib to hand in their work.

Figures.

What Dib didn’t expect though, was Zim frozen still, just standing there underneath the entrance of the school, looking outside without even attempting to leave, let alone move a muscle.

Dib cautiously approached the figure. The soft snow from just a few weeks back had given way to icy rain, steadily hitting the ground, not bothering the masses of children that went storming out of the building.

“What are you waiting for?”

Once the last student was gone and the only sound that could be heard was the rain, Dib walked up next to Zim from where he was hiding behind him and squinted at him suspiciously.

Zim just continued scowling and buried himself even deeper into his hoodie.

“Is the rain bothering you? You know you can just pull up that hood. It’s not like it’s gonna kill you.”

Dib raised his arm to point at the aforementioned cloth but was quickly shut down as Zim let out a weird growl and slapped Dib’s hand away.

“Don’t touch Zim!” he hissed and took a step back.

With a wince, Dib pulled his hand back, as his face contorted into a grimace.

“Fine. I would have given you my umbrella but screw you too then,” he huffed and turned to leave.

As soon as he was out of the building and had opened up his umbrella, he decidedly ignored Zim, who had followed him and was now taking up more space than he himself did. He sighed and just kept walking, nevermind the menace who had already managed to rip the umbrella out of his hands to carry it himself. It seemed like they were going in the same direction anyway, so he didn’t mind. <strike>He did mind, but what was he supposed to do?</strike>

Zim kept walking after passing Dib’s house, and Dib let him. He watched the kid carry on down the street before disappearing around a corner. Dib sighed, already mourning the loss of his umbrella, and went inside.

The next day in class, Zim greeted him by throwing the umbrella back at him with a "You have a funny head."

The next time a group project would be announced, Zim would already be looking at him, and Dib would answer with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh  
My tumblr is crypticpanda010, come talk shit with me.  
I'd really love to hear your thoughts and maybe ideas for this AU!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait.  
Motivation took a dive off a cliff and died.
> 
> Trigger warning for panic attacks and mild self harm.

“FUCKING FUCK, FUCK, GODDAMIT!”

_Fear, betrayal, anxiety, hatred, anger, worry, disappointment, pure, unbridled rage._

_Pain, as his fingernail dug underneath his skin, pulling and grasping, for something solid to hold on to, to break, to main, to destroy, to get rid of all these emotions pumping through his brain, as he failed to make sense of the world around him. He was gone, flailing, drowning, his mind breaking and slowly rotting away as the nothingness took ahold of him._

_All he saw was the pair of glowing red eyes staring into his soul, sharp teeth underneath a cruel smile, no, a grimace, mimicking, faking, distorting. A shrill laugh made him jump, and dig even deeper. He could feel the blood run down his arms. _

_Trembling skin tainted red in a world of black and white. _

_He didn’t know who he was. His identity shaped by the wrong believes and hidden truths, brought into being by something fake, something wrong, something he couldn’t comprehend. It was slowly stripped from him, just like the skin on his arms, torn off by dull nails, slowly but surely, his fate handed over into inhuman hands, his entire life shrouded in hazy mist. _

_Where was he going? It’s all gone. What else was there? A deep hole in the ground, waiting to swallow him and forever bury him in darkness. A life turned upside down, memories tainted, stained by the absence of light._

_Blood scattered on the ground, like stars in the sky. _

“Fuck.”

Dib sat on the ground, bracing himself against the wall.

His arm hurt, the clear cuts where his nails breached the skin an aggressive red. With puffy, swollen eyes he looked down at them, but couldn’t bring himself to feel anything. A heavy cloud had settled inside his mind, leaving only emptiness. With slow movements he tried scratching the faint wounds but was interrupted by a hand closing around his wrist.

“Stop it,” Gaz muttered without looking up from the game console sitting in her lap.

Still feeling numb, Dib didn’t even question her presence in his room, and sank back to wallow in misery, rocking back and forth with his head stuck between his knees.

They sat there for a long time, only the muted sounds of Gaz’s game reaching his ears.

“Why am I such a fuck up?”

Dib didn’t bother to look up to confirm if Gaz was even listening.

“Why can’t I be like dad? I mean I _am_ him. So why…”

“Shut up. This has nothing to do with dad.”

“You came out perfect, so obviously he loves you, but he just had to fuck up making me, one wrong equation here, and some mixed up samples, and there you go! One fucked up kid ready to go.”

Dib’s erratic rant and trembling limbs didn’t stop Gaz from punching him in his side.

“Look, I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was, it has nothing to do with dad, so shut the fuck up!”

Her console was violently shoved away as she shuffled to sit directly in front of him.

“I don’t know what you did, all I know is that there’s a shit ton of police and government people around, barricading everything around the school. Seriously, what the fuck Dib?”

She didn’t even get to finish her sentence before Dib launched right into another panic attack. Pushing her worries aside and putting on a neutral face, Gaz took ahold of her brothers shaking hands, stopping him from digging them into his skin again.

This was worse than usual. Where the fuck was Zim when she needed him? She was bad at this. Still, she hated seeing her brother like this, and his stupid friend was uncharacteristically the one to cheer him up best. With a frown she once again hit the speed dial on Dib’s phone, only for it to go straight to voice mail again. What the hell was he up to? Especially with what was going on outside, she would have expected him to be with Dib, investigating whatever shitshow is happening at school. No matter how different they were, they were both nosy fucks, and outside of hanging out with and annoying Dib 24/7, Zim didn’t seem to have a life anyway.

Gaz sighed and threw the phone back on the bed.

“You’re being stupid,” she whispered as she slowly began to massage circles into the palms of Dib’s hands. “You’re not a fuck up, okay? Look, I don’t know why it bothers you so much that dad made us. I think it was pretty clear that we weren’t exactly created the natural way. Just look at dad, he has the social competence of a toaster.”

She chuckled quietly.

“But you’re your own person. Yeah, you’re weird and an idiot, but at least you’re not like dad. Having two of you would be really annoying. Also, getting stains out of white lab coats is really hard, so I’m going to kill you if you ever start wearing them too.”

She continued talking nonsense and telling Dib about the new game she had just bought, her current school projects, the weather. A few minutes later she noticed that Dib had stopped shaking. Silence fell over them.

“If you’re done, can I go now? This is awkward.”

Red rimmed, puffy eyes looked up at her.

“I need your help, Gaz.”

Just barely she was able to suppress a groan, but with disdain she realized that she wasn’t able to say to to him, the way he was right now.

“I need to find Zim.”

* * *

“So can you please tell me what happened? Did you guys fight or something? Not that I wanna know.”

Dib shrugged lifelessly, his head hung low, as if to hide his still flushed face. He was distracted by all the police cars racing down the road, his glasses reflecting the red and blue of the lights.

“You’re gonna have to do me a favour,” he whispered.

Gaz scoffed.

“What do you think I’m doing here?”

“I think I’m gonna be gone the next few days. If anyone shows up and wants to talk to me, you can’t tell them anything.”

With confusion clearly written on her face, she turned to look at him.

“Seriously, what the fuck did you do? I’m not covering for you if you killed someone.”

He squinted down at her.

“So much for sisterly love.”

“I think I fulfilled my quota for today.”

They continued walking towards Zim’s house, Dib insisting on taking the pathway behind the gardens instead of walking the straight way along the road.

Gaz grew more suspicious with every step she took.

“Dib. You know I give zero fucks about what you guys get up to, but I need to know if I’m going to have to visit you in prison once a month every year for the next decade or not.”

“Okay!”

Dib stopped abruptly, leaving Gaz to run into him.

“Something happened, alright!” he whispered in his conspiracy voice. “And I don’t know how to explain it, I don’t even understand it myself, so that’s why I gotta find Zim, alright? He ran off as soon as… as _it_ happened, and I… I…”

Before he broke down again in the middle of some bushes, Gaz sighed and pushed him to keep moving.

“Fine, don’t tell me anything then, let’s just find Zim.”

Zim’s house didn’t look any different that normal. Neat, clean and well kept, almost borderline obsessively so. Finding the hidden key inside one of the drainpipes around the house itself was no task, as it was a movement, Dib had been practicing for the past few years, but as soon as his hand reached out to unlock the front door, his hands began trembling and lost their grip on the key.

“Shit. Fuck.”

“Calm down man, it’s only Zim.”

“That’s exactly it Gaz!” Dib suddenly yelled. “I’m scared of Zim.”

He began to fumble around with the key again, leaving Gaz to stare at him in confusion. Together they entered the dark building and took a look around. It seemed almost abandoned, with how unused everything looked, but Dib knew that that was just because it was indeed mostly empty most days, with Zim and him being out and about or at Dib’s place. Letting out a trembling sigh, Dib turned on the lights and patted the small robot toy on the shelf, a habit he had picked up from Zim. This time though, he noticeably froze in his action, prompting Gaz to shoot him a “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” he exhaled, giving the robot another suspicious look before starting his search.

“So what exactly are you looking for? Zim obviously isn’t here.”

“I don’t know. _Something_, I guess,” Dib shrugged.

“_’Something’_. Great,” Gaz mumbled, and began looking around the kitchen.

Dib swallowed and left her there, already knowing where he wanted to look first. It took him a few minutes to lockpick the door to what Zim always referred to as a cleaning cupboard. As far as he knew, this was the only room he had never seen from the inside. Just as he psyched himself up to open the door, something nudged his shoulder and he jumped.

“What the hell, Gaz?” he exclaimed and shoved her away.

The girl sneered at him and before he could stop her, she opened the door.

It looked like a regular cleaning cupboard.

“Is that what you’ve been staring at the entire time?”

“I- I mean. Yeah?”

“Look,” she sighed. “I think you’re wasting time here. Whatever happened, I don’t think it’s necessary for you to search Zim’s home. I mean, this place looks like one of those goddamn IKEA furniture exhibitions. There’s nothing here.”

That very moment, an obnoxiously loud alarm began to fill the room, as the door behind them fell shut, shrouding them in darkness and blinking red light.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

Dib instinctively gripped Gaz and held her tight as everything began to shake. Both could feel their stomachs surge as the world was tipped upside down. The room fell into the deep like an elevator without counterweight. What felt like an eternity was in fact just a few seconds. Cowering on the ground and holding onto each other for dear life, the siblings waited out the worst of it, before hastily shoving away the other and catching their breath. The red light had faded into what was a dim light flickering above them. Eerie silence filled the room.

“What the fuck,” Gaz whispered.

She tried her best, looking composed and calm, but this was above her pay grade.

Silently she turned towards Dib, who had the most heartbroken expression on his face, as he tried to find a way out of their situation.

“Did you know about this?”

“No.”

“Dib.”

She desperately wanted him to talk to her.

“Dib. What the hell.”

“I didn’t know about this, okay?”

She didn’t even get to mock him, when a sudden rush of steam filled the room, making it almost impossible to see, and before they knew it, two giant guns had been shoved in their faces, looking like some contraption from a sci-fi movie, lowered down from the roof, a glowing pink mass charging and growing and ready to turn them into ash. Panicking, Dib grabbed Gaz and shielded her body, so maybe at least she would survive. He could feel her struggle against his hold and her screams of protests rang in his ears. He barely noticed the clawed, three fingered hands grab the both of them, shoving them out of the guns path and out into a cave made of cables and wires.

Still holding onto Gaz, Dib began to cry.

The green skinned figure standing over them looked down at Dib without blinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped class to write this.


	6. Chapter 6

It was one of those days.

Zim supressed the urge to let out a deep sigh or make any other disruptive noise in general. With disdain he watched the teacher in the front pace back and forth, old and wrinkled eyes slowly swerving over the group of teens as they fell into despair, glaring at the pieces of paper in front of them. Zim had already handed in his test, now only waiting for the clock to mark the end of class, so he can finally run and take the rest of the day off. He still couldn’t believe he actually missed that bony, wrinkley meat bag Ms. Bitters. Despite being the very embodiment of her name, she at least didn’t give a single fuck about any of them (which was a good thing), just doing her lessons and leaving them alone, not caring if anyone was listening or not.

The creature which took over after Ms. Bitters had succumbed to her race’s weak and quickly decomposing body (no one knew if she had actually died or simply decided to finally retire) was straight up scum. He had suspended Zim for a week on his first day on the job. Zim obviously took him up to the challenge, but eventually even he got tired of spending the whole day sitting in detention, so he had caved, conforming to all these stupid human rules. This was a new low for him.

If his antenna hadn’t been tied down to his back, they would be twitching all over the place, probably slapping the human sitting behind him right in the face. It was uncomfortable, but he was willing to make sacrifices. Zim really missed his glory days back on Irk, goddamit.

If this weren’t the only planet so densely populated, making it impossible to pick up his DNA signature from outer space, he would have moved on ages ago. But yet, here he was, still stuck, for however long his lifespan would be on this planet.

He had to admit though, despite this planet being a primitive, dirty, disgusting ball of dirt, it was probably the next best thing to Irk. Only few civilizations outside of the Empire’s reign were this advanced, it seemed.

Either way, Zim had begun to settle down the past few Earth years, did the best he could with what he had. Which was some outdated standard invader equipment and an old rusty ship, which had been sitting at the bottom of his base for quite some time now, simply gathering dust as it wasn’t necessary for him to leave to planet anytime soon. The ships signature would probably only alert anyone still searching for him anyway, so he’d rather just stay put.

But it was hard.

This life was boring. It was so boring, some days he wished he could just blow things up. Go 'absolute apeshit’, as the Dib would say. But gaining any attention at all was the worst possible thing he could do. Most humans already thought he was weird and different. He definitely didn’t need any more suspicious eyes on him.

Zim glanced at the creature sitting next to him.

The Dib-beast certainly was a risk. Unlike the other mindless walking pieces of meat, he was intelligent and - although self-absorbed -, aware of the things going on around him. What was the saying the humans liked to use? ‘Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer’. Being able to keep an eye on the Dib and monitoring him certainly was the best course of action. Zim would be able to interfere anytime Dib got close to making any major discoveries. It’s not like he was actually enjoying the human creatures’ presence. No, Zim absolutely despised this primitive species, and he would have liked to stay as far away from the as possible, **obviously**. But yet here he was, sitting among them, without any guarantee that no one is going reach out and destroy the illusion by touching him. It was a necessary evil. The more DNA signatures around him, the harder it would be to single him out of the masses.

He had been ignoring the urge for destruction for years now, until it had become nothing more but a slight pulsing pain in the back of his head. Dib certainly helped by taking him along to his ‘cryptid hunting adventures’. No matter how much Zim liked to complain, it was a good outlet for all the pent-up anger and aggression. Taking care of these monsters behind the human’s back was more than enough.

Zim watched as Dib’s eyebrows scrunched together in deep thought. The human certainly was a lot quicker with solving the math equations than any of the other students, but even he seemed to have some trouble. What a disappointment. Zim couldn’t help but scoff at the helplessness. But then again, it wasn’t the human’s fault they didn’t have a supercomputer attached to their brains. They only had that grey, wiggly, gooey organ sitting in their overly large heads, underused and mistreated, ready to be fatally damaged at any point, as their bones were obnoxiously fragile, something Zim had learnt the hard way by accidentally causing several skull fractures and having to evade law enforcement by relocating multiple times in the beginning. Zim had learnt since then. A lot. But not nearly enough. The human species was so unnecessarily complicated and all over the place, they couldn’t agree on a single language, a numeric system, rules and laws, not even consistent uniforms. They were a ridiculously indecisive race, that much he was sure of.

As the obnoxiously loud bell rang a few minutes later, Zim watched everyone jump up and run outside, waiting for them to disperse as to not risk being touched. It was easier to pass through the crowded hallways once most of the humans have found their respective facilities. As always, Dib waited for him by the door, fiddling with his phone.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Dib said. “Seriously, you were done after like ten minutes. How?”

“I cheat,” Zim just deadpanned.

“Yeah, that much I can see. But _how_? You don’t have notes, don’t use your phone, you don’t write on your arms or anything, so how? How do you do it?”

Before being able to receive an answer, Dib flinched, his hand shooting up to the back of his head.

Zim squinted as his eyes located the small pebble which had hit the human, now innocently lying on the ground.

“Hey nerds!”

A small group of adolescent humans have gathered on the other end of the hallway, still continuing to throw the small stones at them, even after the two of them had found the source.

“Seriously, can you get any more cliché?” Dib yelled back at the large, bulky human standing amidst the group, who Zim vaguely remembered as Torque from middle school across the hallway.

The boy just snorted and motioned for the giggling group of followers around him to move along.

Zim glanced back and forth between Dib and where Torque disappeared to.

“Has he been bothering you?”

“Yeah. I mean it’s not exactly new. He’s been pulling the same shit since forever, remember?”

Zim shrugged.

“Eh. It’s not like you cared.”

The human began to frown.

“The thing is… This isn’t middle school anymore, Zim. This shit didn’t really matter back then, because we were all ugly and weird in a way y’know. High school is a completely different thing. This is gonna stick for years. And since Torque joined the sports team, he’s been acting more and more like a complete dick. And he’s got one hell of an aim.”

Dib kicked away a can of soda lying on the ground.

“I was waiting for this to happen. Of course we would be the ones they pick on.”

He sighed.

“I knew it would happen. I was prepared. You’re right, it never bothered me before. But- I didn’t think… it’d hurt this much?”

Zim only watched as Dib adjusted his glasses, staying surprisingly silent throughout his rant.

“Man, I wish I could be like you. You- You just don’t care about any of this! You’re just you without constantly worrying or trying to be someone else. You don’t even try to appease anyone else, you’re just…”

Dib pointed at all of Zim.

“I’m kinda jealous. I don’t think I could ever do that,” he groaned.

In silence, the both of them continued walking to their next class.

* * *

_“The fuck is wrong with you?”_

_Torque scrambled on the ground, trying to get back up, but Zim gave him a swift kick in the knee. _

_A loud ‘oof’ escaped the human’s mouth as he collapsed. _

_“What’s wrong is that you and your smelly clan of worthless monkey shits keep bothering the Dib-thing. Stay down, where you belong, human.”_

_With that, Zim stomped Torque’s prematurely balding head into the mud once again. His muffled yelling only put a smirk on Zim’s face. He was thoroughly enjoying this. Only the sudden outcry from a teacher made him look up and remove his boot from the human’s neck. _

_“Stay away from Dib,” he hissed one last time and started running. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could write.

**Author's Note:**

> Oof. First ao3 post for the IZ fandom.  
I know I'm not the best writer so criticism is appreciated! Please tell me if you're interested in more.


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